okay, it's been like forever I posted anything, and I do feel sorry for it.
Ina, I was talking about growing up meaning losing some friends' constant presence, because the world is huge (at least geographically) and I do not have the money to be jetsetting around.

Time is also a factor. I seem to spent less and less time online, and mostly just feel... iit's a mixture of lethargic and restlessness. I wander around in the room and can't concentrate on anything, really, and I just can't get my lazy arse up to look up the link to this blog, e.g., or te write anything, even in my LJ. It's not that I haven't anything to say, even though anything I say right now might be mushy, sounding revoltingly smitten and couldn't be used against me in court.

I figure that I'm a better friend in rl and via mail or blog, because I really, really need incentives to write.. such as the speech you provided months ago which I just now read, Ina...
... And yep, u guessed it, I'm sorry. Not that it helps.

So, life's busy here with university, and while I had plannend to take some exams in advance, I think it won't do. I am surrounded by people who are both chilled and still ambitious. (Yes, full of contradictions today..) and I kinda feel pressured, because I am lazy and still want to have good marks, so I am pressed to convince myself to work which in itself is an effort. Why are guys so intelligent and I have to work to keep up?? I kinda feel inferior a lot of times, especially when it comes to maths... And my sense of screwed up pride kinda makes me unwilling to ask P., who is definitely better.
And dude, he's my boyfriend and I feel too unsure to ask. So I present myself as a complete idiot. Who's hesitating to work with others because she fears she cannot keep up.
Hear me whine. And it's making sense in my mind....

Other thing is the relationship which is still progressing too fast when u ask me. Thing is, I think that and still don't want to stop. .... ...... ...... Ina, remember you going on about being horny? ... .___. *nodnodnodnod* enough said. It's not all happy wen it comes to me, but we haven't had any real altercations yet, I'm just asking for it at times because I can't stop teasing him and he's easily annoyed by it. -.-# Lisa's heard of it already. And I'm stupid. Like how I felt stupid for feeling disappointed that I didn't get a tree.
Apparently, I've also changed, and I don't think it's only because of the relationship, even though it was definitely a trigger of some sorts.
Still can't really believe it's working, and asking myself how long it will hold.
Talked the other day with Nora, and curiously, she kinda thinks the same. Which amazes me... because we all see her and F. growing old, right?

Aachen is still boring.. cold.... prone to rain and misery. But Lisa is back here. And soon, you will be too, Ina.... :D so looking forward to hanging out with you two and gossiping and being silly.
I am moving, btw. Should be stressed.. but I'm not. And my bf makes a better (as in more efificient and experienced) cleaning-lady than I do.