growing up

time flew by like a concorde from london to new york.
the last time i posted something was about a month ago and many things have happened since. if you could call it that way.
actually not much is different and life just seems to carry on, as it always does. maybe with the difference that i have different people in my life.

i thought, because yuxi was thinking about me the other day, i get a couple of thoughts down here as well.
well, due to the fact, that no one is posting, i know hardly anything about the life's of people back home. the life's i am refering to here is the life's of you two.
it does seem that i am apparently the only corner in our nice spot here.
i was not gonna be all bitchy about it actually. but the very sentence yuxi posted struck me hard: "i guess it is all part of growing up." or some lame sentence like that. i guess everyone is very busy with their own lifes and that is a good thing, at least they have a life. but i didn't know that not putting any effort into a friendship is part of growing up, or is it? maybe i am mistaken and i am still living in the children's world, where nothing is grey and blue, but all colourful.
i do know, that keeping a friendship going requires a little bit of time. and i do believe that it is worth it, because sharing my life and feelings is a great part of my life. and i know sometimes i can become a little bit boring, talking about my boyfriend who apparently takes up most of my time. but isn't there more to it? don't friendships actually have a meaning.
so, feeling bad and claiming it is part of growing up, is such a bullshit thing to do. apparently people just fail to provide that little caring thing and feeling just responsible for things they do.
i don't think that there is an appropriate frequency to keep up with your friends. if we are friends, but we are busy with life, it is fine.

i do feel sorry that i haven't been able to keep up with many people. i do care about them and i do think about them (sometimes i even dream about them). and i believe it is because of my failure to pull out time for myself to write them an email, which is not that difficult actually, or to put a little post/note on the blog we put up and not because i am growing up.

i actually don't think i am growing up. but that is another topic.

so, in order to be not a hypocrite, i will write a little bit about myself now.
first of all, i did dream about yuxi the other day. it is quite a long time ago and loads of people from my "past" appeared in it. i was doing the most strange things. playing basketball in the school gym with a bunch of guys from my old gymnasium. then i had a bike tour with loads of people from couven. so that's when yuxi appeared. i can't remember much, especially not after 3 weeks.

exams are over for a 3 weeks now and i am not too anxious about the results, which should be coming in a couple of weeks. i just hope i can pass and i don't have to come back in late august to retake them and bury myself in books again. i think it is a close call. i didn't do particularly good at all.
right after my exams i went to barcelona for 3 days with two of my girlfriends. a korean girl, who already flew home a couple of weeks ago, and a lithuanian girl. the trip was nice and interesting. i believe this is the best way to describe the trip. it was not overwhelming and i don't think i will recommend any of my friends to go there. i mean, it is not a must-go-to place. it is more like a nice place. i would rather recommend you to go to edinburgh. edinburgh is a unbelievably beautiful city.

so after i came back the 2nd semester started. i don't have many lectures, because i don't have many modules. i think 9 lectures a week tops. well, i am not too motivated, although i actually started to work towards my aim of 2009, to get the right balance between my studies and my relationship (i want to say life XD). i want to feel good about my studies and naturally about my relationship, too. since the semester started i managed to study a little bit, not every day, but every other day. and i does make me feel really good. i am still working on my self-discipline. :)
it is not always going well, just to give an example on last week. i've been to 3 lectures out of 8 or 9. and i didn't really listen in 2 of them... as i said, i am still working on my self-discipline and on my attendance rate. ^^

as far as my relationship is concerned, it is all very perfect. :) i am really really happy and i believe we have something really special. i do sound like a hypocrite, since i've always been such a love cynical(ist) (- does that word even exist?). (just to come back on that growing up part.) i desperately don't want to grow up. i believe uni is acutally a really dreamy place. i keep dreaming about all sort of thing, like not growing up, and believing that this relationship is gonna last and that this guy here is gonna not grow up with me together. i hope for it, i wish for it and i believe it, sometimes. :)
m. wasn't well after we came back to newcastle. he's feeling better now. we have been basically living together. the only nights we have spend apart were the ones i spent in barcelona and one night, when he was on a rave. miraculously, we are not sick of each other yet. i actually thought, we gonna go back to "normal", when the semester starts. but he's still living here and i really love it.

the next few weeks are gonna be awesome. wednesday will be our 4 month anniversary and then it is valentine's day. we plan to go to a little village near the sea. and on monday after that m. is getting a new tattoo (he's working on it now) and on wednesday the same week max is coming over for about 4 or 5 days!! he will finally meet my daaaarling :) and see what my life is like here in newcastle. we/i have planned loads for him, when he is here!

even though newcastle is not really big, i think it's smaller than aachen, it has some really nice sites. i don't think this is something special, i just think it is something i have discovered after some time spend searching.
right now, i am desperately waiting for spring to come. i kind of get sick of all this cold. i think you do feel the same. it is not really warmer where you two live, is it?

this is enough for me today.
hopefully, you can tell me both, how you are doing these days. i'd love to hear from you guys.

hugs