Yuxi hat mich gerade erinnert, dass wir tatsächlich gerade in drei Ecken der Welt sind, nicht nur Europas..:) Das ist ein Eintrag wert!! Ich habe ja schon ein bisschen in meiner Mail geschrieben, Pusan ist wirklich sehenswert. In jedem Viertel und jeder Straße gibt es hier unendlich viel zu entdecken. Die Welt erscheint mir hier viel bunter, als zu Hause. Die Häuser sind verziert mit bunten Plakaten, alles funkelt und leuchtet irgendwie. Die Menschen tragen bunte Sachen und gepunktete Schuhe. Heute waren wir bei einem Aussichtsturm und vor dem Turm im Park war eine Veranstaltung offenbar speziell für alte Leute, denn im Publikum war keiner unter 70 Jahren. Da ist mir erst Bewusst geworden, dass diese Stadt extrem jung ist und sehr sehr lebendig. Je länger ich hier(und ich bin wirklich noch nicht lange hier) denke ich über die ganzen alteingessesenen Angewohnheiten in Deutschland nach, so wie der heilige Sonntag und die manchmal sehr vorsichtige Annäherung an Fortschritt und Veränderung. Diese Stadt entwickelt sich so rasant, ohne Untertreibung, die Konsumfreude wird nicht gerade versteckt, aber es scheint dem Land nicht zu schaden, im Gegenteil. Gerade heute hatten wir einen fanstastischen Blick über die Stadt und meine Mutter zeigte mir den Hafen und hat mir erzählt, dass es einer von wenigen Hafen weltweit ist, der nicht unter der Wirtschaftskrise leidet und der gerade einen Teil des Bremer Hafens aufgekauft hat. Diese Stadt, ich weiß nicht ob man das auf das Land übertragen kann, scheint wirklich zu funktionieren, alles läuft zusammen und dreht sich irgendwie wie in einem Rad weiter. Zum Beispiel gibt es hier kaum Mülleimer, aber trotzdem sieht es wie geleckt aus in den Straßen, wie schafft man sowas?? Es ist eine 3.7 Millionenstadt und trotzdem wirkt alles so entspannt und locker. Aber vielleicht habe ich nur die naive Sicht eines beeindruckten Touristen. Vielleicht blendet mich dieser rasante Fortschritt auch einfach.
In ein paar Tagen treffen wir eine richtige Koreanerin, dann kann ich sie mit meinen Fragen löchern :).
In anderen Sache schreibe ich mich bald endlich für Jena ein. Ihr dass ihr nun fast euer erstes Studienjahr geschafft habt, euch beide gut eingelebt und, nein ich beneide euch kaum ;), frisch verliebt habt, könnt vielleicht gar nicht mehr verstehen, mit welcher Nervosität ich diesem Oktober entgegen sehe. So viele Fragen sind in meinem Kopf: Bin ich wirklich für Politikwissenschaften geeignet, wünsche ich mir nicht doch ein Leben in einer Großstadt, wo zum Teufel soll es mit diesem Studienfach hingehen? Ich versuche mich zu entspannen, alles auf mich zukommen zu lassen, aber es gelingt mir nicht. Im Moment bin ich manchmal sehr schnell gereizt, Dinge und Menschen strengen mich an, ich bin manchmal ganz in mich gekehrt. Ich hoffe nur dass, wenn ich endlich diese Entscheidung getroffen habe, alles ein wenig von mir abfällt.
Ich freue mich sehr bald mit euch zweien ein wenig beisammen zu sein, zu lachen und Blödsinn zu machen. Das würde mir vollkommen reichen.
Für morgen planen meine Mutter und ich einen entspannten Strandtag, es gibt einen tollen Strand, der heißt Haeundae, hinter einem hohe Hotels und vor einem das endlose Meer, kann es etwas tolleres geben? :)
In Ordnung, bei mir ist es fast ein Uhr, ich werde noch ein bisschen an einer neuen Kurzgeschichte arbeiten und dann bald Richtung Bett gehen, auf dem sicher schon die Mücken warten, die letzten Nächte waren sie sehr aktiv :P
Lasst es euch gut gehen, genießt den Sommer!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Okay, ganz ganz kurz nur :)
Fahren morgen nach Kühlunsborn (Kaff Nähe Rostock...) mit 11 maschinenbauern. Die Mädels sind ja alle benimmtechnisch weiblicher als ich (ruhiger, weniger schlchte Witze, evtl. bessere Manieren xDDD) aber die JUNGS.
xDD Entweder wird das total lustig oder das Niveau taucht am anderen Ende der Erde wieder weinend auf. Naja, mal sehen, Bilder gibts dann später noch. Wobei. Ich muss noch die Kamera startklar machen!! *streeeeeeess*
Hoffe, euch beiden geht es auch gut und das Wetter bleibt schön!!
@Ina: xDDD baaaaaaaaaaald!! muaahahaha!! *freu*
Fahren morgen nach Kühlunsborn (Kaff Nähe Rostock...) mit 11 maschinenbauern. Die Mädels sind ja alle benimmtechnisch weiblicher als ich (ruhiger, weniger schlchte Witze, evtl. bessere Manieren xDDD) aber die JUNGS.
xDD Entweder wird das total lustig oder das Niveau taucht am anderen Ende der Erde wieder weinend auf. Naja, mal sehen, Bilder gibts dann später noch. Wobei. Ich muss noch die Kamera startklar machen!! *streeeeeeess*
Hoffe, euch beiden geht es auch gut und das Wetter bleibt schön!!
@Ina: xDDD baaaaaaaaaaald!! muaahahaha!! *freu*
Sunday, May 10, 2009
the wonder of other places
today is saturday. or should i say: was.
we, that is me and magnus, and yes, i use the pronoun we, decided to go to durham, which is a 15 minutes train ride away from newcastle. exams are coming up soon, and i am still stuck in an oral exam and essay crisis/stress.
i would say i am in a crisis rather than in stress, for i don't really feel stress until about a week beforehand, and severly stressed i become two nights before.
so we decided to escape that unhealthy environment for a day to go to durham on a trip.
i have been to durham one time, it was bad weather and i only got to see the university and the famous cathedral, which is about a thousand years old, from the outside. actually from a riverbank. it might sound really romantic to you, and i will confirm you, it is really romantic.
durham is a small little old english town. yes, not industrial and vibrant and "big" like newcastle. it is quiet and has little winding streets.
when we arrived, it was quite good weather, if you can call it that in england. i actually have been haunted for such a long time now, by degrees under the number of 20... if we are lucky, we have 17. anyway, i am not here to talk about my winter depression in may.
oh by the way, if you are wondering why i am talking in such a strange way, i have been watching "pride and prejudice" for the last 2 hours. so forgive me! :)
visiting places is an interesting thing. just the simple action of traveling, and even if it's just to the next little village, gives you a different perspective on things. walking through streets, looking into shop windows and looking at local people sitting in a cafe drinking coffee. everything is fresh and looks like a theatre to you, that you have never seen before. everyone is an actor and every scenery is stage setting. you are intrigued, "is this how this place works?"
this freshness brings a special kind of consumerism to you. you drink fancy stuff, you try fancy food and you buy fancy stuff in a shop, which exists everywhere else. but all of it is special to you, because you bought it from a play.
it is the intention of traveling and the freshness of the place, that bring a certain specialness to everything you see, touch and taste.
i have come to get used to life here. if you live somewhere, it doesn't really matter if you like it or not. you are just there. and you do your thing, which is called life.
i am looking forward to this academic year's end. the end of first year, the end of first year at uni. when i look at it now, it doesn't seem that special anymore. yes university, yes england and yes everything else.
what i look forward to again is change. change is finishing my exams and just enjoying whatever i am doing, without thinking about the next exam, the next essay, the next lecture. i look forward to going to paris. i look forward to going to devon to see magnus' home. and then, finally, i am looking forward to go home. it sounds like it is something really boring. but it is not, it is so exciting.
and even if it's still far away, and i hardly think about it, i do look forward to my second year at uni, my second year in england and my second year with my boyfriend.
being at one place, makes you look differently at another one. in a positive or negative way, either way, it is different. and it makes you realise where you have been and what life you are living now.
we, that is me and magnus, and yes, i use the pronoun we, decided to go to durham, which is a 15 minutes train ride away from newcastle. exams are coming up soon, and i am still stuck in an oral exam and essay crisis/stress.
i would say i am in a crisis rather than in stress, for i don't really feel stress until about a week beforehand, and severly stressed i become two nights before.
so we decided to escape that unhealthy environment for a day to go to durham on a trip.
i have been to durham one time, it was bad weather and i only got to see the university and the famous cathedral, which is about a thousand years old, from the outside. actually from a riverbank. it might sound really romantic to you, and i will confirm you, it is really romantic.
durham is a small little old english town. yes, not industrial and vibrant and "big" like newcastle. it is quiet and has little winding streets.
when we arrived, it was quite good weather, if you can call it that in england. i actually have been haunted for such a long time now, by degrees under the number of 20... if we are lucky, we have 17. anyway, i am not here to talk about my winter depression in may.
oh by the way, if you are wondering why i am talking in such a strange way, i have been watching "pride and prejudice" for the last 2 hours. so forgive me! :)
visiting places is an interesting thing. just the simple action of traveling, and even if it's just to the next little village, gives you a different perspective on things. walking through streets, looking into shop windows and looking at local people sitting in a cafe drinking coffee. everything is fresh and looks like a theatre to you, that you have never seen before. everyone is an actor and every scenery is stage setting. you are intrigued, "is this how this place works?"
this freshness brings a special kind of consumerism to you. you drink fancy stuff, you try fancy food and you buy fancy stuff in a shop, which exists everywhere else. but all of it is special to you, because you bought it from a play.
it is the intention of traveling and the freshness of the place, that bring a certain specialness to everything you see, touch and taste.
i have come to get used to life here. if you live somewhere, it doesn't really matter if you like it or not. you are just there. and you do your thing, which is called life.
i am looking forward to this academic year's end. the end of first year, the end of first year at uni. when i look at it now, it doesn't seem that special anymore. yes university, yes england and yes everything else.
what i look forward to again is change. change is finishing my exams and just enjoying whatever i am doing, without thinking about the next exam, the next essay, the next lecture. i look forward to going to paris. i look forward to going to devon to see magnus' home. and then, finally, i am looking forward to go home. it sounds like it is something really boring. but it is not, it is so exciting.
and even if it's still far away, and i hardly think about it, i do look forward to my second year at uni, my second year in england and my second year with my boyfriend.
being at one place, makes you look differently at another one. in a positive or negative way, either way, it is different. and it makes you realise where you have been and what life you are living now.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Hab mal grad durch gescrollt, hab den Blog hier ja seit Januar oder so nicht mehr gelesen, weil ich den Link irgendwie verlegt hatte...
Ärgere mich grade sehr, dass ich nicht früher nach dem Link geguckt hab, hätte so einiges gerne kommentiert und diskutiert, wie z.B. den baader meinhof komplex oder unileben oder wie es in Aachen krass viel geschneit hat und ich aber allen erzählt hab,d ass es hier nie schneit...
Mist. ._____.
Ina, du kannst hier so viel schreiben, wie du willst. ich mag es, deine Einträge zu lesen, weil sie anders sind - du zählst die lustigsten Dinge auf und freust dich über Sachen, die anderen nicht mal auffallen. Es bringt mich wiederum zum lachen und manchmal zum nachdenken... und ich versuc, mich zu bessern. Wirklichwirklichwirklich.
Ärgere mich grade sehr, dass ich nicht früher nach dem Link geguckt hab, hätte so einiges gerne kommentiert und diskutiert, wie z.B. den baader meinhof komplex oder unileben oder wie es in Aachen krass viel geschneit hat und ich aber allen erzählt hab,d ass es hier nie schneit...
Mist. ._____.
Ina, du kannst hier so viel schreiben, wie du willst. ich mag es, deine Einträge zu lesen, weil sie anders sind - du zählst die lustigsten Dinge auf und freust dich über Sachen, die anderen nicht mal auffallen. Es bringt mich wiederum zum lachen und manchmal zum nachdenken... und ich versuc, mich zu bessern. Wirklichwirklichwirklich.
okay, it's been like forever I posted anything, and I do feel sorry for it.
Ina, I was talking about growing up meaning losing some friends' constant presence, because the world is huge (at least geographically) and I do not have the money to be jetsetting around.
Time is also a factor. I seem to spent less and less time online, and mostly just feel... iit's a mixture of lethargic and restlessness. I wander around in the room and can't concentrate on anything, really, and I just can't get my lazy arse up to look up the link to this blog, e.g., or te write anything, even in my LJ. It's not that I haven't anything to say, even though anything I say right now might be mushy, sounding revoltingly smitten and couldn't be used against me in court.
I figure that I'm a better friend in rl and via mail or blog, because I really, really need incentives to write.. such as the speech you provided months ago which I just now read, Ina...
... And yep, u guessed it, I'm sorry. Not that it helps.
So, life's busy here with university, and while I had plannend to take some exams in advance, I think it won't do. I am surrounded by people who are both chilled and still ambitious. (Yes, full of contradictions today..) and I kinda feel pressured, because I am lazy and still want to have good marks, so I am pressed to convince myself to work which in itself is an effort. Why are guys so intelligent and I have to work to keep up?? I kinda feel inferior a lot of times, especially when it comes to maths... And my sense of screwed up pride kinda makes me unwilling to ask P., who is definitely better.
And dude, he's my boyfriend and I feel too unsure to ask. So I present myself as a complete idiot. Who's hesitating to work with others because she fears she cannot keep up.
Hear me whine. And it's making sense in my mind....
Other thing is the relationship which is still progressing too fast when u ask me. Thing is, I think that and still don't want to stop. .... ...... ...... Ina, remember you going on about being horny? ... .___. *nodnodnodnod* enough said. It's not all happy wen it comes to me, but we haven't had any real altercations yet, I'm just asking for it at times because I can't stop teasing him and he's easily annoyed by it. -.-# Lisa's heard of it already. And I'm stupid. Like how I felt stupid for feeling disappointed that I didn't get a tree.
Apparently, I've also changed, and I don't think it's only because of the relationship, even though it was definitely a trigger of some sorts.
Still can't really believe it's working, and asking myself how long it will hold.
Talked the other day with Nora, and curiously, she kinda thinks the same. Which amazes me... because we all see her and F. growing old, right?
Aachen is still boring.. cold.... prone to rain and misery. But Lisa is back here. And soon, you will be too, Ina.... :D so looking forward to hanging out with you two and gossiping and being silly.
I am moving, btw. Should be stressed.. but I'm not. And my bf makes a better (as in more efificient and experienced) cleaning-lady than I do.
Ina, I was talking about growing up meaning losing some friends' constant presence, because the world is huge (at least geographically) and I do not have the money to be jetsetting around.
Time is also a factor. I seem to spent less and less time online, and mostly just feel... iit's a mixture of lethargic and restlessness. I wander around in the room and can't concentrate on anything, really, and I just can't get my lazy arse up to look up the link to this blog, e.g., or te write anything, even in my LJ. It's not that I haven't anything to say, even though anything I say right now might be mushy, sounding revoltingly smitten and couldn't be used against me in court.
I figure that I'm a better friend in rl and via mail or blog, because I really, really need incentives to write.. such as the speech you provided months ago which I just now read, Ina...
... And yep, u guessed it, I'm sorry. Not that it helps.
So, life's busy here with university, and while I had plannend to take some exams in advance, I think it won't do. I am surrounded by people who are both chilled and still ambitious. (Yes, full of contradictions today..) and I kinda feel pressured, because I am lazy and still want to have good marks, so I am pressed to convince myself to work which in itself is an effort. Why are guys so intelligent and I have to work to keep up?? I kinda feel inferior a lot of times, especially when it comes to maths... And my sense of screwed up pride kinda makes me unwilling to ask P., who is definitely better.
And dude, he's my boyfriend and I feel too unsure to ask. So I present myself as a complete idiot. Who's hesitating to work with others because she fears she cannot keep up.
Hear me whine. And it's making sense in my mind....
Other thing is the relationship which is still progressing too fast when u ask me. Thing is, I think that and still don't want to stop. .... ...... ...... Ina, remember you going on about being horny? ... .___. *nodnodnodnod* enough said. It's not all happy wen it comes to me, but we haven't had any real altercations yet, I'm just asking for it at times because I can't stop teasing him and he's easily annoyed by it. -.-# Lisa's heard of it already. And I'm stupid. Like how I felt stupid for feeling disappointed that I didn't get a tree.
Apparently, I've also changed, and I don't think it's only because of the relationship, even though it was definitely a trigger of some sorts.
Still can't really believe it's working, and asking myself how long it will hold.
Talked the other day with Nora, and curiously, she kinda thinks the same. Which amazes me... because we all see her and F. growing old, right?
Aachen is still boring.. cold.... prone to rain and misery. But Lisa is back here. And soon, you will be too, Ina.... :D so looking forward to hanging out with you two and gossiping and being silly.
I am moving, btw. Should be stressed.. but I'm not. And my bf makes a better (as in more efificient and experienced) cleaning-lady than I do.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
growing up
time flew by like a concorde from london to new york.
the last time i posted something was about a month ago and many things have happened since. if you could call it that way.
actually not much is different and life just seems to carry on, as it always does. maybe with the difference that i have different people in my life.
i thought, because yuxi was thinking about me the other day, i get a couple of thoughts down here as well.
well, due to the fact, that no one is posting, i know hardly anything about the life's of people back home. the life's i am refering to here is the life's of you two.
it does seem that i am apparently the only corner in our nice spot here.
i was not gonna be all bitchy about it actually. but the very sentence yuxi posted struck me hard: "i guess it is all part of growing up." or some lame sentence like that. i guess everyone is very busy with their own lifes and that is a good thing, at least they have a life. but i didn't know that not putting any effort into a friendship is part of growing up, or is it? maybe i am mistaken and i am still living in the children's world, where nothing is grey and blue, but all colourful.
i do know, that keeping a friendship going requires a little bit of time. and i do believe that it is worth it, because sharing my life and feelings is a great part of my life. and i know sometimes i can become a little bit boring, talking about my boyfriend who apparently takes up most of my time. but isn't there more to it? don't friendships actually have a meaning.
so, feeling bad and claiming it is part of growing up, is such a bullshit thing to do. apparently people just fail to provide that little caring thing and feeling just responsible for things they do.
i don't think that there is an appropriate frequency to keep up with your friends. if we are friends, but we are busy with life, it is fine.
i do feel sorry that i haven't been able to keep up with many people. i do care about them and i do think about them (sometimes i even dream about them). and i believe it is because of my failure to pull out time for myself to write them an email, which is not that difficult actually, or to put a little post/note on the blog we put up and not because i am growing up.
i actually don't think i am growing up. but that is another topic.
so, in order to be not a hypocrite, i will write a little bit about myself now.
first of all, i did dream about yuxi the other day. it is quite a long time ago and loads of people from my "past" appeared in it. i was doing the most strange things. playing basketball in the school gym with a bunch of guys from my old gymnasium. then i had a bike tour with loads of people from couven. so that's when yuxi appeared. i can't remember much, especially not after 3 weeks.
exams are over for a 3 weeks now and i am not too anxious about the results, which should be coming in a couple of weeks. i just hope i can pass and i don't have to come back in late august to retake them and bury myself in books again. i think it is a close call. i didn't do particularly good at all.
right after my exams i went to barcelona for 3 days with two of my girlfriends. a korean girl, who already flew home a couple of weeks ago, and a lithuanian girl. the trip was nice and interesting. i believe this is the best way to describe the trip. it was not overwhelming and i don't think i will recommend any of my friends to go there. i mean, it is not a must-go-to place. it is more like a nice place. i would rather recommend you to go to edinburgh. edinburgh is a unbelievably beautiful city.
so after i came back the 2nd semester started. i don't have many lectures, because i don't have many modules. i think 9 lectures a week tops. well, i am not too motivated, although i actually started to work towards my aim of 2009, to get the right balance between my studies and my relationship (i want to say life XD). i want to feel good about my studies and naturally about my relationship, too. since the semester started i managed to study a little bit, not every day, but every other day. and i does make me feel really good. i am still working on my self-discipline. :)
it is not always going well, just to give an example on last week. i've been to 3 lectures out of 8 or 9. and i didn't really listen in 2 of them... as i said, i am still working on my self-discipline and on my attendance rate. ^^
as far as my relationship is concerned, it is all very perfect. :) i am really really happy and i believe we have something really special. i do sound like a hypocrite, since i've always been such a love cynical(ist) (- does that word even exist?). (just to come back on that growing up part.) i desperately don't want to grow up. i believe uni is acutally a really dreamy place. i keep dreaming about all sort of thing, like not growing up, and believing that this relationship is gonna last and that this guy here is gonna not grow up with me together. i hope for it, i wish for it and i believe it, sometimes. :)
m. wasn't well after we came back to newcastle. he's feeling better now. we have been basically living together. the only nights we have spend apart were the ones i spent in barcelona and one night, when he was on a rave. miraculously, we are not sick of each other yet. i actually thought, we gonna go back to "normal", when the semester starts. but he's still living here and i really love it.
the next few weeks are gonna be awesome. wednesday will be our 4 month anniversary and then it is valentine's day. we plan to go to a little village near the sea. and on monday after that m. is getting a new tattoo (he's working on it now) and on wednesday the same week max is coming over for about 4 or 5 days!! he will finally meet my daaaarling :) and see what my life is like here in newcastle. we/i have planned loads for him, when he is here!
even though newcastle is not really big, i think it's smaller than aachen, it has some really nice sites. i don't think this is something special, i just think it is something i have discovered after some time spend searching.
right now, i am desperately waiting for spring to come. i kind of get sick of all this cold. i think you do feel the same. it is not really warmer where you two live, is it?
this is enough for me today.
hopefully, you can tell me both, how you are doing these days. i'd love to hear from you guys.
hugs
the last time i posted something was about a month ago and many things have happened since. if you could call it that way.
actually not much is different and life just seems to carry on, as it always does. maybe with the difference that i have different people in my life.
i thought, because yuxi was thinking about me the other day, i get a couple of thoughts down here as well.
well, due to the fact, that no one is posting, i know hardly anything about the life's of people back home. the life's i am refering to here is the life's of you two.
it does seem that i am apparently the only corner in our nice spot here.
i was not gonna be all bitchy about it actually. but the very sentence yuxi posted struck me hard: "i guess it is all part of growing up." or some lame sentence like that. i guess everyone is very busy with their own lifes and that is a good thing, at least they have a life. but i didn't know that not putting any effort into a friendship is part of growing up, or is it? maybe i am mistaken and i am still living in the children's world, where nothing is grey and blue, but all colourful.
i do know, that keeping a friendship going requires a little bit of time. and i do believe that it is worth it, because sharing my life and feelings is a great part of my life. and i know sometimes i can become a little bit boring, talking about my boyfriend who apparently takes up most of my time. but isn't there more to it? don't friendships actually have a meaning.
so, feeling bad and claiming it is part of growing up, is such a bullshit thing to do. apparently people just fail to provide that little caring thing and feeling just responsible for things they do.
i don't think that there is an appropriate frequency to keep up with your friends. if we are friends, but we are busy with life, it is fine.
i do feel sorry that i haven't been able to keep up with many people. i do care about them and i do think about them (sometimes i even dream about them). and i believe it is because of my failure to pull out time for myself to write them an email, which is not that difficult actually, or to put a little post/note on the blog we put up and not because i am growing up.
i actually don't think i am growing up. but that is another topic.
so, in order to be not a hypocrite, i will write a little bit about myself now.
first of all, i did dream about yuxi the other day. it is quite a long time ago and loads of people from my "past" appeared in it. i was doing the most strange things. playing basketball in the school gym with a bunch of guys from my old gymnasium. then i had a bike tour with loads of people from couven. so that's when yuxi appeared. i can't remember much, especially not after 3 weeks.
exams are over for a 3 weeks now and i am not too anxious about the results, which should be coming in a couple of weeks. i just hope i can pass and i don't have to come back in late august to retake them and bury myself in books again. i think it is a close call. i didn't do particularly good at all.
right after my exams i went to barcelona for 3 days with two of my girlfriends. a korean girl, who already flew home a couple of weeks ago, and a lithuanian girl. the trip was nice and interesting. i believe this is the best way to describe the trip. it was not overwhelming and i don't think i will recommend any of my friends to go there. i mean, it is not a must-go-to place. it is more like a nice place. i would rather recommend you to go to edinburgh. edinburgh is a unbelievably beautiful city.
so after i came back the 2nd semester started. i don't have many lectures, because i don't have many modules. i think 9 lectures a week tops. well, i am not too motivated, although i actually started to work towards my aim of 2009, to get the right balance between my studies and my relationship (i want to say life XD). i want to feel good about my studies and naturally about my relationship, too. since the semester started i managed to study a little bit, not every day, but every other day. and i does make me feel really good. i am still working on my self-discipline. :)
it is not always going well, just to give an example on last week. i've been to 3 lectures out of 8 or 9. and i didn't really listen in 2 of them... as i said, i am still working on my self-discipline and on my attendance rate. ^^
as far as my relationship is concerned, it is all very perfect. :) i am really really happy and i believe we have something really special. i do sound like a hypocrite, since i've always been such a love cynical(ist) (- does that word even exist?). (just to come back on that growing up part.) i desperately don't want to grow up. i believe uni is acutally a really dreamy place. i keep dreaming about all sort of thing, like not growing up, and believing that this relationship is gonna last and that this guy here is gonna not grow up with me together. i hope for it, i wish for it and i believe it, sometimes. :)
m. wasn't well after we came back to newcastle. he's feeling better now. we have been basically living together. the only nights we have spend apart were the ones i spent in barcelona and one night, when he was on a rave. miraculously, we are not sick of each other yet. i actually thought, we gonna go back to "normal", when the semester starts. but he's still living here and i really love it.
the next few weeks are gonna be awesome. wednesday will be our 4 month anniversary and then it is valentine's day. we plan to go to a little village near the sea. and on monday after that m. is getting a new tattoo (he's working on it now) and on wednesday the same week max is coming over for about 4 or 5 days!! he will finally meet my daaaarling :) and see what my life is like here in newcastle. we/i have planned loads for him, when he is here!
even though newcastle is not really big, i think it's smaller than aachen, it has some really nice sites. i don't think this is something special, i just think it is something i have discovered after some time spend searching.
right now, i am desperately waiting for spring to come. i kind of get sick of all this cold. i think you do feel the same. it is not really warmer where you two live, is it?
this is enough for me today.
hopefully, you can tell me both, how you are doing these days. i'd love to hear from you guys.
hugs
Saturday, January 17, 2009
zeit und all der andere scheiß
der grund warum ich schreibe? ganz klar, ich hab morgen eine klausur und bin so wenig vorbereitet, dass ich vorhab die nacht durchzumachen und über andere sachen nachzudenken, statt zu lernen...
zeit vergeht ganz komisch seitdem ich in england bin. sie scheint wie eine dickflüssige masse voranzukriechen, ohne wirklich vorwärts zu kommen.
wie lange ist es her? ich glaub seit heute, bzw. seit gestern bin ich genau 4 monate in england. ich mein jetzt die zeitspanne, nicht die gesamtzeit.
aber alles ist anders geworden. meine ganze welt hat sich verändert und sie tut es immer noch. jeder tag scheint irgendwas zu bringen, was veränderung in sich trägt.
interessant, aber vor allem beängstigend.
vielleicht sollte ich das nicht sein, vielleicht sollte ich einfach froh und dankbar sein und mehr vertrauen in meine eigenen gefühle.
zu hause ist auch nicht mehr was es einmal war. familie ist auch nicht mehr, was es einmal war. freunde sind auch nicht das, was sie einmal waren.
allein in der welt rumzustehen ist eine komische sache so in den ersten 4 monaten.
ich glaube, dass die uni ein sehr komischer abgeschotteter ort ist. wenn ich durch die stadt laufe, hab ich oft das gefühl, ich bin eine außerirdische, weil ich nicht so bin, wie die menschen als der realen welt.
universitätsleben idealisiert menschen.
ein kopf voller freiheiten.
2 wochen wieder in england. ich hab es gar nicht erwarten können, wieder nach hause zu kommen. zu meinem zimmerchen, zu meinem mini bad mit dem winzigen waschbecken, das so klein ist, dass man es aus 5 meter entfernung kaum noch sehen kann. ein strich oder eher punkt in der landschaft, zu meiner küche mit dem tollen kühlschrank und zu den sofas vor dem fernseher! jaaaaaaah!! und natürlich endlich wieder mit M. zusammen sein.
alles nimmt wieder seinen geregelten lauf. mehr oder weniger geregelt muss ich zugeben.
jetzt bin ich mitten in der prüfungsphase. morgen ist meine dritte prüfung von 4. mittwoch ist der ganze scheiß dann endlich zu ende. es läuft ganz ehrlich nicht grade blendend. ich hab echt kein bock im august wiederzukommen und in die nachprüfung zu müssen. aber wie es im moment aussieht, schein ich auch reichlich wenig dagegen zu tun.
ein mix aus resignation und absolute faulheit. shame on me!
aber immerhin geht es am freitag nach barcelona!! hell yeah!!!!
und wie sieht es aus in eurem leben?
zeit vergeht ganz komisch seitdem ich in england bin. sie scheint wie eine dickflüssige masse voranzukriechen, ohne wirklich vorwärts zu kommen.
wie lange ist es her? ich glaub seit heute, bzw. seit gestern bin ich genau 4 monate in england. ich mein jetzt die zeitspanne, nicht die gesamtzeit.
aber alles ist anders geworden. meine ganze welt hat sich verändert und sie tut es immer noch. jeder tag scheint irgendwas zu bringen, was veränderung in sich trägt.
interessant, aber vor allem beängstigend.
vielleicht sollte ich das nicht sein, vielleicht sollte ich einfach froh und dankbar sein und mehr vertrauen in meine eigenen gefühle.
zu hause ist auch nicht mehr was es einmal war. familie ist auch nicht mehr, was es einmal war. freunde sind auch nicht das, was sie einmal waren.
allein in der welt rumzustehen ist eine komische sache so in den ersten 4 monaten.
ich glaube, dass die uni ein sehr komischer abgeschotteter ort ist. wenn ich durch die stadt laufe, hab ich oft das gefühl, ich bin eine außerirdische, weil ich nicht so bin, wie die menschen als der realen welt.
universitätsleben idealisiert menschen.
ein kopf voller freiheiten.
2 wochen wieder in england. ich hab es gar nicht erwarten können, wieder nach hause zu kommen. zu meinem zimmerchen, zu meinem mini bad mit dem winzigen waschbecken, das so klein ist, dass man es aus 5 meter entfernung kaum noch sehen kann. ein strich oder eher punkt in der landschaft, zu meiner küche mit dem tollen kühlschrank und zu den sofas vor dem fernseher! jaaaaaaah!! und natürlich endlich wieder mit M. zusammen sein.
alles nimmt wieder seinen geregelten lauf. mehr oder weniger geregelt muss ich zugeben.
jetzt bin ich mitten in der prüfungsphase. morgen ist meine dritte prüfung von 4. mittwoch ist der ganze scheiß dann endlich zu ende. es läuft ganz ehrlich nicht grade blendend. ich hab echt kein bock im august wiederzukommen und in die nachprüfung zu müssen. aber wie es im moment aussieht, schein ich auch reichlich wenig dagegen zu tun.
ein mix aus resignation und absolute faulheit. shame on me!
aber immerhin geht es am freitag nach barcelona!! hell yeah!!!!
und wie sieht es aus in eurem leben?
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